Find Yourself Ruminating? Read this.Feb 28, 2023
Find yourself ruminating? Read this.
Once upon a time, I used to get caught in the rumination hamster wheel for dayyyys after a heated argument with my partner Dane, or really anytime I thought I looked like an amateur while presenting in front of people I admired and wanted to become friends with.
At this point I’ve lost track of the hours wasted away ruminating in circles like a cute lil’ hamster on a wheel workin’ up a sweat…gettin’ nowhere.
All of the joy, pleasure and creativity I could have been experiencing…. but instead spiraling down into my own hell hole of self-purgatory. Ha!
Can you relate? 😅
The good news is there’s a way out.
A way that unlocks the sweet freedom of not being chained by the reactions of your mind and instead drops into the softness of your body.
In my work with clients (and on my own journey) I’ve found three primary desires at the root of chronic rumination:
- Desire to “make sense of it” - mentally going back to the scene repeatedly as a way understand why something happened
- Desire to gain control - replaying every intricate detail of the event, hoping to catch and prevent similar incidents in the future
- Desire to avoid feeling deeper emotions - fleeing up into the mind and thinking about the experience/person can provide a temporary relief from facing and feeling what’s going on inside your heart.
While these strategies have their own intelligence and are helping at some level….ultimately they’re keeping you stuck.
They’re keeping you up at 4am, interrupting your focus at work, eating away at your self confidence and suddenly making your partner, boss and friends look like ugly monsters.
And I could have continued spinning out in wormholes like this (because old habits die hard right?) until one morning after a night of ZERO sleep, I looked at myself in the mirror with puffy, red, swollen eyes and said “Aine you have two choices:”
You can continue slowly leaking out your life force energy in a downward spiral of infinite groundhog days until you wither away into a sad empty shell of yourself.
You can take a leap of courage and face yourself. You can face the part of you deep down that’s behind all this rumination (which to my surprise was actually a sweet, innocent 6-year old little girl all alone in her room).
I chose #2.
Once I saw past the coping mechanism (rumination), and saw that frightened little girl underneath…. my heart exploded with love and compassion for her.
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I saw her pain and loneliness.
I wrapped my arms around her and whispered in her ear…”You’re not alone anymore. I’m here with you now.”
I listened as she expressed and let go of everything she had been holding onto for all these years.
There was a palpable lightness in my chest, like a fresh spring morning after a long winter when all the purple lilacs and yellow daffodils bloom open.
A wave of gratitude washed over me for all the times I had gotten lost in rumination holes.
Because for the first time I saw how that ruminating part was innocently trying to protect me (not doing a great job 😆 but protecting nonetheless).
For the first time I saw the innocence behind all that rumination.
And once that little 6-year old girl knew she wasn’t alone anymore, she no longer required all the elaborate, depleting protection mechanisms.
I want this kind of liberation for YOU.
The kind of freedom where you respond to hard conversations with more agency and vulnerability
The kind of freedom that relaxes you into your Knowing so you can make wiser choices and hold better boundaries with your energy and time.
Where you can show up for yourself in a way you’re deeply proud of…ESPECIALLY when the inevitable conflict, loss, heartache or rejection comes your way.
Because that’s the point of all of this right?
To continue learning and growing…
To become wiser and more open-hearted…
To continue saying YES to loving ourselves, each other and this precious planet.
So when you’re laying on your deathbed, your soul can smile knowing you continued to RISE and meet every single moment of your life with courage, compassion and a sparkle of mischief in your eye…because you dared to truly LIVE.
So tell me friend, what’s stopping you from living with that kind of freedom right now?
I’m opening up space for a few more inspired souls who are ready to accelerate their inner journey of healing and growth so they can so they can elevate their outer impact to the next level.
If that’s you, let’s schedule a time to connect. During your FREE 90-minute clarity session we’ll connect to your heart’s desires, get crystal clear on where you’re at + you’ll receive deeper coaching around any blocks, and walk away feeling super inspired with a roadmap forward that makes your soul sing!
Because the world needs your unique expression and gifts that only YOU can bring.
If you’re desiring support to step into your next level of becoming, I’d love to connect. Schedule your FREE 90-minute clarity session to get crystal on where you’re at, connect to your heart’s desires, receive deeper coaching around any blocks, and walk away feeling inspired with a roadmap towards your highest path forward.